Karen M. Jantzi, CPC
I was blessed to be raised in a loving, Christian home buy two parents who loved each other and loved God. As I look back at my childhood, it was wonderful! My Dad had built a successful church furniture manufacturing company. We had a beautiful house in the country on 15 acres. I even learned to drive on my Father's 911 Porsche as a teenager. Yes, he DID spoil me for life. Driving the 911 was and still is one of life's most exciting things, though I do not have a Porsche anymore, I still think about the fun it was!
I got married at 27, had my first child within 2 years and 2 more children in the next 3 years. My husband and I owned a very profitable travel company. We lived in a beautiful home on the golf course and the lake. Drove wonderful cars. Bought what we wanted. Had a lot of great friends and traveled to interesting places as we ran our business.
But, underneath it all, there was pain and destruction. Fear. Loss. Depression. Betrayal. Abandonment. After years of doing all I could to make it work, my marriage fell apart and I found myself divorced. I was a huge mess! Three kids. Two chronic illnesses. No close family. No church. A couple amazing friends that were really there for me. I don't know what I would have done without them. But, I was in a pit of despair most of the time even if I didn't show it. I kept functioning in a daze most of the time. I turned my outside lights on to garden at night! I washed my car at 10 pm outside. I got up at 6, did the treadmill, got my kids to school and then worked at my home business. But, I was running out of steam.
One Sunday afternoon, praying on my face in my bedroom, I cried out to God in anguish. If He would have offered to take me home at that point, I think I would have said yes. He didn't give me that choice, thankfully. But, as I prayed that day, my loving Savior came to me. Not a vision. Not an audible voice. But, that voice in your heart you know is Him.
He told me I had lived my life looking into the mirror of others opinions. That I had believed the enemy's lies about me. I had accepted false guilt. I had drained myself trying to earn love from others. And, it had to stop. Right now. It was as if He took my tear stained face and held it in His hands.
He spoke to me how I was the Apple of His Eye. I was His TREASURED POSSESSION. That when I looked in the mirror and saw a 40 year old, crippled, worn out, overweight Mom who wasn't No. 1 in anyone's book, that I was seeing the picture the enemy had painted for me. He said He had made me beautiful, inside and out, for His purposes and that the ONLY OPINION of me that was TRUTH, was His.
That day the MIRACLE OF BEING TREASURED came to me!
He washed away all the sense of worthlessness, the ongoing tape of horrible things that had been said to me and my seemingly inability to even dream about the future and He replaced it with RADIANCE in my spirit!
I got off that floor that day a BRAND NEW WOMAN! He made me a TREASURED WOMAN that day. And, I have lived as a TREASURED WOMAN every day since because of His love, His Worth and His Holy Spirit.
Wherever you are in your life right now - doing well, happy, prospering - or struggling, without, hurt, abandoned, empty - His image of you is NOT your own. He created you for beauty. That's why you long for it. He gave you a great mind. That's why you have a desire for greater things in our life. He knows you better than you know yourself. You are limiting Him by your own opinion of YOU!
Its time to look in HIS mirror and stop seeing your self worth in anyone else's eyes. Even your own. You can lie to yourself. Bad hair day. No chocolate in the house. Cramps. Unbelievable, inhumane to do list. No love. Just hollow. Wrong impression of the REAL YOU according to Jesus!
Guess where you will find your true reflection. In His Word! There, He will tell you who you are to Him. So, pick it up. Start reading about YOU. And, begin to see yourself as He does. Your life will change and you will never be the same!
PRAYER FOR TODAY: Father, forgive me for doubting my own worth. Help me see myself as You do and to look only to you for my worth. Help me to understand that I cannot earn your love and acceptance, nor can I lose it. Renew my mind with the truth of Your word and burn into my heart that I am forever accepted and loved by you. Amen.
Treasuring You in His Love,