I was ANGRY. And I had a right to be. My feelings were being disregarded. I had no choice given to me. I felt of no value. My flesh wanted to lash out. I wanted to tell someone off. I had just the perfect slasher phrase to say too. Words come easy for me. Good ones. And, bad.
Crying on my bed, I turned my heart to God. I wanted to call my best friends and tell them everything. What a loathsome person they were.
I hated what I was feeling. I hated what had been done.
At that moment, I didn't want help to get over it. I wanted justice. I needed a Palomino pony, a holster and a white Stetson. (Maybe a black Stetson)
I wanted to stop it from happening. Steam shooting through my ears would propel me!
But, the Spirit of God that lived within me was starting to talk. "Wait a minute. Pull yourself together. Let's look at this. Let me show you what I want you to do."
I wasn't sure I was ready for His answer, so I kept crying until I could cry no more. I made the ugly cry my reality. Not pretty. But, after getting a cup of coffee, I took my bible to the couch to pray.
"Karen, I don't want your situation to change you, I want YOU to change your situation. And, I will help you, by showing you what I desire from you. You know I have your good in mind. I believe in you and I know what lies ahead. You are going to need to be able to do this in the future to rise to the place I have in mind for you."
1 Peter 1:14
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance
OKAY. OKAY. Here I am. I don't want to be in my former ignorance, Lord.
"He's expecting you to be really ticked off. Show tons of emotion and be angry at him. He's used to you speaking your mind and flinging it in his face. We aren't going to do that this time. We are going to love him. We are going to serve him. You are going to pray to me without ceasing FOR HIS GOOD and HIS BLESSING. This is my desire. Its reward will surprise you. Are you willing?"
Yes. I hear You. I am willing. I surrender. Maybe with gritted teeth, but I submit to Your will because I love you more. Please help me rise above my own anger and hurt.
We have all been there.
Its not uncommon, but it is TOUGH!
I listened and obeyed. Obedience has its reward. INTERVENTION FROM GOD! Doesn't it always seem like our natural reaction is usually the opposite of God's way of doing things? We are flesh. We are sinners. Only when we accept Christ and we are given "new eyes" in our spirit and soul will we be able to understand His ways.
For me, though He brings other rewards, the BEST OF THE BEST is MORE OF HIMSELF! When we hear stories of people enduring awful hardships and remaining loving, its because they have experienced MORE OF HIM! They are changed by His presence and given the strength to do what is not natural to them in their flesh. We all can have this.
I'm not sure what his reward will be for me in this situation. But, I am sure of one thing........through Him, I am going to change my situation and it will not be changing me! His love is the building blocks for the blessed life He has for us. And, that love only brings results when its given.
Today, if you face a situation that is making you angry and upset with others,
I want you to stop and make the decision that it will not change you, but YOU are going to change it! With His help, you surely can! His way is the right way and it brings blessings you can't imagine to you!
Treasuring You in His Love,
1 John 3:24
Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
Karen Jantzi, CPC/CMEC is the Founding President of Treasured Woman and the CEO of HAVEN Coaching and Consulting. She has a passion for helping women find a permanent sense of self-worth and value through living in the authority and love of Jesus Christ in their lives. She has been a business owner and executive for over 20 years and enjoys women bring life to their dreams of owning a business. As an author,, blogger and speaker, Karen shares her life changing story with women across the nation with the hope that they too will turn to Christ and live a life they treasure. Karen lives with her husband, is the mother of 5 and enjoys life on the Yough River not too far outside of Pittsburgh. You may contact her at 407-687-5988 or firstname.lastname@example.org